How many toys do young kids need?

I can see why pediophobia is a real thing.

The first part of this answer is easy: enough to keep the kids occupied so you can read in peace, or take a shower alone, or just hear yourself think for five damn minutes without somebody yelling "mom!" or crying or fighting or bleeding or stuffing socks down the toilet - but not enough toys to make a mess. Right?

The second part of this answer is also easy: you need quiet toys, building toys, creative toys, thinking toys, musical toys, and imagination toys because this is what you want your kids to grow up learning. And books. But don't forget that back in the day kids had way, way, way fewer toys and were thus forced/encouraged to use their imagination and creativity to find things to do instead of relying on cheap plastic crap made in China and enriching the Chinese government so that one day they can Take Over The World. Oh my. Where did that come from? 

Now comes the hard part: how many, where do they go, and who puts them away? Easiest first:

Q: Who puts the toys away?
A: Why, whoever uses them of course, because...of course. I cross my heart promise you that if you start and enforce this one simple habit for the first five years of your child's life, you will save yourself years of pain and suffering. Years. A decade or two. Even longer if your kids God forbid end up in your basement after college. 

Teach your children to put things away as soon as they can hold an object in their hand and walk, crawl, or drag themselves across the floor to the shelf/box/bag/tub/whatever. Make it a game. Join in the "fun" every time at first, and then again as needed.

Be consistent.

This will work.

However — and it's a big however — accept the fact that one day oh so soon the "fun" of clean-up time will just plumb wear out because...it just does. Eventually you'll most likely need to add a consequence for those times the darlings don't feel like putting things away. The secret to peaceful clean-up times is to have your consequence thought out in advance and to Stay Calm. Calm. Very calm. Very matter-of-fact: if this, then that, it's just the way it is. For example: If you don't want to put your toy away, then you won't be able to play with it next time so I'm putting it way up here. Then, next time they ask for it, remind them that it's out of reach because they didn't want to put it away and that maybe tomorrow they can play with it again if they put their toys away today. Calm. It's not a punishment, it's a consequence, a choice your child made. Don't get angry, don't raise your voice, don't threaten or beg or cajole. And if they never ask for that toy again? Well, cool. One less thing to take up space and clean up after. 

Q: Where do the toys go? 
A: In the easiest, closest, tidiest places possible. If you expect a small child to stack up the blocks neatly down the hall in the closet, rather than tossing them in a bin right there, you'll be eating dinner at midnight, if ever. 

Depending on the layout of your home, you may have one play area or several. Young kids want to be near mom and dad, meaning you'll want a few items in whatever rooms you're typically in. While it would be oh so lovely to have matching bins and cubbies and shelves, it's not necessary. Every year or so most of the toys will change anyway as kids move up in skill level, meaning you'll constantly be figuring out what bin, what size, what shelf will fit what toy. The only "rule" is to keep like with like; which teaches your kids basic organizational skills. Use a low basket on the floor for crawlers. Low shelves or bins for toddlers. They need to be able to see the toys, reach them, and put them away all by themselves.

Q: How many toys do you need? 
A: Fewer than you probably think. For toddlers and preschoolers with a designated playroom, maybe start with five "activity" items in that room. Choose things that have a longer interest factor: Legos, bricks, blocks, puzzles, cars and trucks, dollhouses, barns, coloring, and other items that require creativity, encourage making things up, and can expand and grow. Put a couple books in their bedroom; one or two (not ten) items in the tub; big cardboard bricks in the laundry area; a few low cupboards in the kitchen so they can empty and rearrange while you're working. Rotate other toys in and out as their interests change. Pay attention to what your child really gets into and start by feeding that. See what they ignore or toss aside and pull these items out from the rotation. Always, always store some items away so you can bring them out for days of desperation, car trips, restaurants, quiet time. 

So what do you do if you read this post too late and you already own 3,246 toys, ​

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half of which are cheap plastic things that make annoying noises, many of which lost their batteries years ago and nobody cared enough to replace them, some of which no child has touched since the day they were opened, when they were played with for a full 3 minutes 22 seconds before being tossed aside for the next shiny bright object an adoring relative or friend so lovingly added to the fray. See: "Please, I beg you, my kids don't need all that stuff" below. 

Tactic #1: Get 'er done.
1. Grab you some big sturdy plastic bags for soft things like the 26 stuffed animals suffocating in the closet, and some boxes of various sizes for heavier items. 

2. Maybe do this when the kids aren't home. Have a glass of wine if it's 5:00 somewhere. Put on some music. Please do not get distracted and decide to do clothes while you're at it. 

3. At this point you will not be discarding a thing, so relax. The kids will not be traumatized. If the items are missed, you'll explain that you tidied up and could they please remind you later so you can go get it? See where this is going?
 
4. Start in the easiest place, the one where you're pretty sure you can quickly identify the items that need to be yanked (gently removed) from the premises.

5. Commence with the yanking room by room, working up to the place you're dreading. If in doubt, yank it out. If sort of in doubt, yank. If you're not sure, yank. 

6. Put all items somewhere where they can sit for a few weeks. Don't say anything, just smile like you have a secret.

7. If you're still worried about trauma you can say, "hmm, are we missing any toys around here? I'm wondering where we put them" to see if anyone misses anything. You'll hopefully get blank faces "nothing missing here why should there be?" If your 3-year-old says "My God yes, I've been half sick wondering where my broken truck is, you know - the one with no tires" you'll have your answer. Act accordingly.

8. Sell or donate items. 

Tactic #2: Get the kids involved.
As a former homeschooling mom who followed the Montessori method, I would usually opt to make this - and just about everything else - a kids' project. But ugh. Groan. It takes so much more work. Whine whine whine. Your call. 

1a. Tell the kids that you found out that there are other kids who only have one or two toys to play with, "just a string and a broken balloon" you could say but no that's going too far. Then suggest you gather up some of the toys they don't really use anymore. (Adjust this spiel to fit the age and temperament of your child.) 

1b. Tell your kids that if they want to earn some money, they can help gather up the extra toys in the house and sell them, and that they will share in the profit (only the kids who actually help, of course. We are not an ATM.) If you're going this route, set a deadline or the project will drag on until the cows come home. Make it "by 5:00 Sunday" or "Saturday by 3:00" so there is an end.

2. Grab some big sturdy plastic bags for soft things and some boxes of various sizes for heavier items. 

3. Try to make this fun and important, rather than a punishment or job. Play games by setting a timer. Whatever it takes.

4. Have kids load the car (or rented truck, depending on your load size,), then pack up the kids and take a field trip to Once Upon A Child. You could use the money to buy a special meal that night, meaning you won't have to cook or clean up. 

5. Thinking a garage sale would be fun? I suggest thinking this through slowly and carefully. 


Please, I beg you, my kids don't need more stuff. 
I don't mean to be crabby but Christmas is coming and how much more stuff do your kids really need? You getting me? Right now is the time to talk to Grandma, aunts and uncles, the babysitter, and all the parents of your kids' friends who bestow gifts during the holidays. So now is the time to kindly offer suggestions before friends and relatives undo all your hard work to finally haul that crappola out of your life.  Some suggestions:

US Savings Bonds: I know, I know. Boring. But really and truly the kids will love having these down the road. For older kids, make sure they realize the full value the bond will have at the end of the term. Then put these away and forget about them. 

Stocks for Kids: Get Disney or a baseball team or a restaurant, whatever the kids are into. They'll have a stock certificate to hang up (or not). Kids about 6 and up can learn about the stock market and watch their stocks.  

Non-toy gifts for kids who have everything Isn't the internet amazing? Check it out. Someone has already done all the work and that means I can stop thinking, which hurts my head anyway, and go have a cup of tea. ​