I know that for some of you this will be painful. I feel the panic in your heart. I hear the wail in your throat. I know you've built up special relationships with each of those 28 black slacks taking up an inordinate amount of closet space and requiring you to whip hangers right and left willy-nilly as you seek out the skinny-day black pants, the bloated-day black pants, the I-am-looking-good black pants, or the to-hell-with-it-I'm-gonna-be-comfortable black pants, but. ​Seriously? Really? 

Now if you're a member of the "uniform" or "capsule" wardrobe club — where you wear black slacks every single day to simplify your life by eliminating the dreaded what-do-I-wear question we all face every dang morning of our lives until our last dying day — then woohoo! Have at it. The Silicon Valley geeks live like that and just look how successful they are. 

But many of us aren't members of those clubs and it's to you that I say Seriously? Really? because I'm betting that you also have a wide variety of, say, beige pants, or blue blouses, or Christmas sweaters. Not to mention shoes to match, purses to coordinate, jewelry to pop. No judgement here but. But. If you want to live the freedom, experience the headiness, taste the joy that comes with a pared down, simplified, just-what-you-need, everything-where-you-can-find-it-in-two-seconds closet, and leave behind forever the overstuffed drawers, the shoe shelving in the guest room, the sagging closet rods, the last minute panic to find that one particular blouse you know is in here, then stop. Just stop. 

As this post covers black pants only, there's a super simple remedy to figure out which to keep and which to send out into the universe of plenty and it's this: Put all those black pants in another room. Far away if you can. The basement if you have to. Then, mark the day on your calendar and in one year (or six months if you're a quick study) keep only the slacks you wanted bad enough to go traipsing through the house to get and only those you absolutely love. Bag up the rest immediately and stash them in your car. Repeat for the beige pants. Oh, and equally important: don't buy any new black pants. Or if you really and truly simply must buy new ones, donate one of the pairs you already have. One in, one out. 

My sister brought this one up and it led to a short but intense discussion. Glenda's house is freezing cold because she lives that way, so slippers - as well as long underwear and sometimes a house hat or scarf - are required for comfort and to reduce the effects of hypothermia. I used to live that way as well — we had competitions to see who could wait the longest to turn the heat on in the fall - but I recently moved into a condo building where cold floors don't exist when you're on the 7th floor and heat rises, which it most assuredly does. 

Our discussion hinged mostly on the question of slippers you can wear outside for the quick jaunt to the car or the trash can or to get a closer look at just what your neighbor is doing over there behind the shrubs, is that a joint? We then segued into do you really want to wear the slippers that trudged through wet grass or dog pee or dead spiders back into the house? Which led to does not said action defeat the second purpose of slippers, which is to leave your contaminated shoes at the door so you don't track things into your house and cause more sweeping and vacuuming than is good for one's health and one's back and one's reading time? A hearty NO! to the first question. An enthusiastic YES! to the second. We were riled up now.

Our conclusion? You only need one pair of good quality slippers (because quality almost always pays) and these should be indoor slippers only. As for the outdoor slippers, we agreed that it makes more sense to have boots that are easy to slip into (because sometimes you have to hurry to catch the neighbors at their shenanigans). Get rid of all the rest and make someones else's feet warm and happy.

All this is to say that now I'm in a pickle. What do I do with the LLBean sheepskin indoor/outdoor slipper clogs perched high on the shelf in our condo-with-the-warm-floors closet? I like them. But. If I don't wear them during this first winter in the condo, I am determined to send them out into the world. I will miss them. It saddens me. And I might just put them on right now as my feet are a tiny bit cold after all.

There was a time when the only hangers I used were free ones. So I understand if this how you must and/or choose to live. However, this doesn't mean you need to hang on to every dang hanger that comes your way, does it?  And those wire hangers from the dry cleaners? Shudder. They are not doing your clothes any favors. You can just tell by looking at the droopy arms, the saggy neckline, and those sad shoulder indentations that these clothes have lost their will to live. Please, if you care about your clothes, give them some decent hangers. Spend the money on quality and then take care of them and you'll never have to buy hangers again. BTW: while Goodwill says they throw out wire hangers, most cleaners are happy to take them back. 

As to how many hangers you need, that's an easy one: Enough to hang up your clothes.

Oh, but what about the new clothes you'll be buying, you ask? That's an entirely different post but spoiler alert: (1.) you probably have way too many clothes already; (2.) when you bring a new item in,  you should send an old one out; and (3.) we don't have to follow every fad and fancy the fashion industry seduces us with do we? They've made lots of mistakes you know: earth shoes, padded shoulders, Peter Pan collars for women over 9. 

There is actual joy to be found right there in your closet when your clothes hang proudly on supportive hangers, preferably matching (I'm not there yet), and with room to breath between each item. Joy, I tell you. 

It's true that belt styles come and go, meaning those 12 outdated belts in your closet could easily come back in style in...oh, two decades perhaps. But for the most part, don't you wear the same belts over and over? 

I only own one belt because my wardrobe needs are Super Simple. But. Maybe you have/need more. If so, here's the plan.
​

1. Gather all belts into a pile.

2. Pull out any that don't fit because if you were going to gain or lose the weight required to fit the belt, surely you'd have done it by now, right?

3. Pull out any you simply don't like and that make you cringe. Keeping these is just bad juju. 

4. Pull out any you haven't worn in a year because come on, if you haven't worn them you do you need them? See: "Seriously? You're KEEPING THAT?"  or "So what? The money's already SPENT."

5. Keep what's left, sell or donate the rest.

Well that was a cinch, right? Hahaha.