Are you actually using those samples, or just holding on to them in case there's a war and maybe shampoo gets rationed? I totally understand being prepared. My armageddon cabinet (What? Doesn’t everybody have one?) is fully stocked with candles, life straws, a camping stove with fuel, and my trusty Red Cross solar-powered and crank-up phone charger/radio/flashlight/omelette cooker. 

However. If you’re serious about paring down, then stuff’s gotta go and stuff’s gotta stop coming in. And these little tubes of goop are much easier to get rid of compared to your grandma’s china, right? So let's do this.

1. Gather up and separate lotion, conditioner, shoe shiners, shower caps, tiny toothbrushes the size of your finger, etc. 

2. If you travel, then save two of each although wait, won’t the hotel have more? Don’t they always have more? Ah, but camping, you say, or places where they don’t have these precious commodities. So, keep two of each although do you really expect to use the shower cap? I do have to interrupt here and say that I keep the good lotion (not the cheap fake smelly ones) in my bedside table where I use it every night before bed because...hands getting older and dryer every day now.

3, Bag up the rest and donate to a homeless shelter, food bank, foster care agency, or your favorite charity shop.

4. If you can’t bear to “waste” these by passing them on to others, then use them up. Remove the big bottle of shampoo and condition from the shower and force yourself to squeeze every last drop out of these puppies. 

I know it's hard, but unless you use these items right away, stop bringing them home, even if "you're paying for them anyway” or "they're so cute" or "I may need them someday." It’s just more stuff. 

​Let's step into the bathroom for a minute. Or if you're really lucky and have a linen closet, head thither. Hopefully, every towel you own is in one of these two places — unless they're in the wash — because if you have towels anywhere else, we'll need to figure out why and that just might turn into a whole new kettle of fish. See: "Seriously? You're KEEPING THAT?" or "So what? The money's already SPENT."

Actually, step away from the towels for a minute because first we need to do some heavy soul searching because if we goof up on this you may not have a clean towel after your next shower and will be forced to pull a dirty one from the laundry or use a pillowcase or wool blanket or a sock or something equally not absorbent. Although actually, the wool blanket might work. 

1. How many people are in your household?
Generally speaking, think three towels per person: one being used, one waiting to be used, and one hanging out in the laundry. But your number will depend on your answers to questions #2 and #3 below because nothing is easy, especially soul-searching.

2. How often do you need a new towel?
Your call here. I'm going to stick my neck out even though I can already hear the cries of disgust and say that we use the same towel for about a week because (A.) we hang them up so they dry quickly and (B.) we're (mostly) clean after showering. This is a no-judging zone. 

3. How often do you do laundry?
I do laundry about once every two weeks because it's just the two of us. That's 14 pairs of underwear if you're counting and I have no problem with that number whatsoever. But really, I'll do towels whenever I have a full load. I'm flexible like that.

Now starts the crazy hard work and it involves math. If x people need a clean towel every x days, and you do laundry every x days, how fast is the train going? But really, you don't need math if you stick to the three towels per person and do laundry once a week. However, if you want a clean towel every day because yuck! then the math, my friend, (and the laundry) is all on you.

4. How many guests do you typically have at one time and for how long? 
Think two towels per guest per week because sometimes said guests don't hang up their towels even after you specifically point out the shiny towel racks you hung just that purpose and sometimes said guests really were raised in a barn. Not naming names here. 

Whew. Take a break. Have a nice cup of tea or a stiff gin & tonic. Then choose the exact number of towels you decided on and put them as close to the bathroom as your home layout allows — in the bathroom is best — then bag up the remainder to (A). Cut up for rags (Unless you already have enough rags and if so please I beg you don't add more rags as we'll just have to go through them later.) (B.) Donate to Goodwill or someplace/someone else. If you're going to donate, go put those towels in your car right now. Then, after all that hard thinking and soul-searching work, you may just need a shower.